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~Look at these delightful little ragamuffins...
Camping at Diamond Lake, Oregon...they then hiked up to Crater Lake and what a breathtaking view it is!
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~I stayed home during this trip with our new baby, reluctantly missing out on the experience... but it turned out to be a refreshing weekend filled with organizing and getting my thoughts and ideas out onto paper as I picked out and ordered curriculum, also writing up a daily lesson plan for this quickly approaching new school year.
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Homeschooling is something I believe in and I hold fast to the revelation in my own heart that it is what I am supposed to be doing with my own kiddos... recently though, with all of the busyness and fatigue with a new little one, I was second guessing myself and God's plan by looking into sending my two oldest to public school. Christian School would be preferred but regrettably does not fit into the budget. I'm not against sending my kids to school and neither is my husband... in fact I think it would be good for them in some respects.
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With a quiet household and time to think, pray and get my head on straight while my family was camping, I came to the realization that my whole dilemma was based in selfishness and pride, like it says in Habakkuk 2:4, "See, he is puffed up; his desires are not upright" — it's a heart issue rather than an ability issue. I tend to fall into the illusion of and desire to do things and have things "perfect" and have everything under my unwavering control, only... I CAN'T!!! I feel as though there are days where I am barely holding my head above water and adding school to the equation would only drown me and my kids into a sea of arguments, yelling and dissatisfaction. That's it, that's how it would be... in my own strength and without giving my pride and my own desires up to the Lord, giving into, instead, His plan for our days, I will fail and feel overwhelmed. With His priorities ruling and plans being carried out, I have nothing to fear, nothing to fret over and nothing to DO. Haha, of course I must still carry out my daily tasks, and I absolutely love being a mom and teacher but I can do those things without the pressure to be something that isn't humanly possible. The daily burden, that overwhelming feeling, that fleshly need to have everything in it's place, and everyone taught absolutely impeccably a.k.a. "perfection"... that really, is not so important... as a lovely older woman reminded me as of late,"Homeschooling is not always about giving your kids the best education out there... it's about teaching them that in everything we do and say, we do it as unto the Lord..." not so men will see and be amazed, but so God's heart will be pleased.
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You see, it's not about becoming a perfect person and in being so, a flawless, educated genius... or even about what I do...it's about being who our gracious God wants us to be and having a heart that longs to carry out our best in life, for Him... and thankfully that means all I have to do is my best and leave everything else up to my God's very capable hands.
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"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
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