Monday, April 15, 2013

Love my kids!

God is good!

God hears our prayers, and He answers them! I am testimony to that. (: A dear woman of God recently reminded me of a prayer/desire I shared just last December when asked what work I would like to see the Lord do in my heart over the next year... 'Brokenness and humility'. Brokenness, Christ's body, broken for us, a living sacrifice... and humility, my innermost heart reactions, servant-hood. Every sleepless night, dragging into the wee hours of the morning, lying still, trying to relax my raging hyper-thyroid hormones, every exhausted moment I feel the effects of mono bringing me to lie down, only to lie awake, thinking this is madness, brings me THAT much closer to the side of Christ. It drives me to let go and fall to my knees in brokenness and humility. I WANT to become more like Him and He WANTS to work in my life. Win-win. Second guessing my prayer? No, on the contrary, I treasure it. Though, I am weak, exhausted and tired with mono and hyper-thyroidism and I fret over questions of 'how long' or 'can I do this, another day', and letting go of any allusion of control I thought I had, daily, He brings me back to His Word. His promises. And He gets me through another day.
I will praise Him in this storm, as He refines, I put my faith in Him, I commit my spirit into His hands. Join me!

Friday, April 12, 2013


Just as flowers pressed between scribbled pages, picked on a day, a day of seeking, crying out and prayer serve as a reminder of a sweet moment, a baby's blessing on her mama,
So God's words, life's lessons, scars and growing times, recorded on the pages of our lives, our journals serve as a reminder. An alter of sorts, built to the Lord in times of realization, encounters with Him and growing seasons when He is so near, you can almost feel His heartbeat.

I look back at where I was last year and I can't believe how much has changed in our lives and in my heart(and I will try to make up for lost time soon!), but yet how far I have slipped back into old patterns. Sometimes, it's just new patterns, taking the place of the old. Not better, not worse, just not different and set apart

Wake up call! 
Plans. I had plans. Good plans I thought. A houseful of family members stricken with mono and and mono related imbalances is not what I had planned!

 God allows wake up calls in our lives from time to time. The rug seems to have been pulled out from under our feet. Blindly we were hit. Reeling from the fall for days, weeks sometimes months, grasping for even a hint as to why.

The cares of this world, the desires of this flesh tent of mine, are so strong. So strong indeed that I feel most times I must be able to peel it away, discard this painful skin, scratch off the tainted parts of me to live a life worthy. A life fulfilling, a life set apart.

 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:17-24

 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

Jesus. His pain. He endured it. He knows our pain. He knows some of the GREATEST pain ever. He even saw it coming. He held his cup. He drank of it. He sacrificed His flesh, His earthly desires, pleasures that enticed, for the purposes of God's kingdom. Oh, how my cup pales is comparison. 

Grace, is sufficient. His grace is sufficient for me. The sacrifice was sufficient. I have been washed in Jesus' grace atonement. His blood has covered over my sickly flesh and has said, you are clean. Pure. Set apart. Beautiful to me.

No more analyzing. No letting my mind get carried away into believing that anything this world has to offer is worth snubbing my Lord, His Holy Spirit's whispers.

Worry is a cancer. Regret a roadblock. Pride is paralyzing. Put on the new man. A new woman. That's me! Now, to live in that victory...

God's grace is sufficient for me. His blood has washed me clean. I walk by faith, believing that with every step I take, my eyes steadfastly fixed on Him, He will guide. He will sustain, he will bring light into those dark crevices of our lives that we feel are impenetrable. "In Him is no darkness at all". He CAN. He WILL. If I only open my heart fully. Daily. In every circumstance.

I walk by faith, because of grace, in patience, washing myself in His word, I find His blessing and seeds sowed, on those new tender mounds of my heart.

No more thorns of pleasure, or indulging in the thought of them, no more cares, worries for what tomorrow holds, no pride in possessing dust, no more words wasted, no more what ifs, just TODAY. Today is just one day, but each and every day I say I live today for You Lord, is another day those seeds are watered. Sprouting. In time a seedling. A prosperous plant. A budding branch. A most fruitful harvest. 

Time. Time is not my enemy. My mind is. Impatience is. "In time, Amy", He says to me. Have patience. My timing is best. Trust me. Walk in obedience. Just obey.

Humility. "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 1:6-7 

Cares, fears, worries. They weigh down. Burden. They threaten to uproot, the gardener's work. "Do not be afraid, I am your shield and reward!" The shield of faith. the sword of the Spirit. The whole armor of God at our bidding. We have only to obey. Put into practice. Faithfully, habitually using them to fight the enemies lies. Fear? I have MY FATHER standing over me, I am unbeatable. Unconquerable. Destined to fill a role in His kingdom. 

God is so good. He knows my name. He knows your name. You, His beloved, His child, his friend, you are intimately important to Him. May today be recorded in the eternal pages of "Amy's walk of faith" with the wilted, sad looking flowers of my heart and mind. That this day, I had an encounter with my Maker. This day He worked in, filled, encouraged my heart and then one day soon turned me right around said, "Go forth!"  and uses my broken vessel to work and speak into the rest of His body, His bride, His beloved. He who is faithful has promised. His promises are sure. His promises are never broken. 

This day, is the day to live in truth, for Him.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Encouragement in the midst of trials

I have recently been going through a growing period in my Christian walk with God, and I am so grateful for it. I was comfortable yet uncomfortable for far too long, crying out but not receiving. Acknowledging but not letting go. Awakening once again to the truth that that is not ALL God has planned for me is exhilarating after slipping into period of passivity. He allowed me to fall, contrite and destitute but for a moment, His saving mercy and grace came swooping in. "Earthly comfort" is not what this life is about, and I do not believe that that is what God has for me! During this time of repentance, healing and growth God has used precious, precious souls to pour HIS heavenly comfort into my own life, and I am overwhelmed with how good my God is. His love for us is unfathomable, undeserved but yet He pours it out freely. The knowledge of that alone, brings peace, joy and freedom into any situation.

Praise to the God of All Comfort

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ,so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 1 Corinthians 1:3-7

In the New King James version, this verse reads "tribulation" instead of troubles, and when I think of tribulation, I instantly feel as though I have never gone through that! But trouble, tribulation, we've ALL had a dose of it whether mild or severe, and it has rocked our world. The beautiful realization I get from this passage is just how amazing God is at orchestrating an outpouring of His overwhelming comfort, through His Spirit covering those believers who are suffering!  As they pressed into God, as the trial pressed into them, a peace that passes worldly understanding covered them. And it doesn't stop there, it is then passed, like a torch to a fellow brother or sister in Christ through the testimony of those who have already been comforted in the midst of their tribulation. Trials, the crushing we receive through our suffering, opens us up to receive God's precious comfort. Comfort is receiving what we need at the moment! God uses trials as a channel to receive comfort through the agency of the Holy Spirit. Trials come for many reasons. Whether it be to wake us up to sin present in our lives, smacking us back to living in accordance with the truths of His word, to strengthen our faith or solely for the purpose of glorifying God and benefiting His kingdom; tribulation causes pain, growth, joy and comfort when it pushes us deeper still into our Heavenly Father's purposed arms. Praising, communing and living for Him today is what it's all about! Eyes open, heart soft, body and soul praising Him alone.

What a beautiful day today is to have the privilege to serve the Lord!

Monday, April 23, 2012

For such a time

"Have I been born-then born again-and brought through all of my life experiences for such a time as this?"

Father, make known to me the difference between restless unsatisfied flesh, always allured by change and the restlessness of my God breathed spirit, being grown and spurred on by Yours to be moved from it's current position, breaking free from the comfortable and soaring even higher, further than ever before.

If you extend your soul to the hungry
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And your darkness shall be as the noonday.
The LORD will guide you continually,

And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 58:10-11

Make me Lord, a dreamer for Your kingdom. Plant in my heart, heavenly desire, grant faith that can say, impossibilities shall be! And vision lest a world should perish not knowing Thee.

Make me Lord, a dreamer for Your kingdom. I would aspire to greater goals my God. So cause faith to rise, to motivate each word and deed. A faith that's well convinced that Jesus meets ev'ry need.

Make me Lord, a dreamer for Your kingdom. Dreams that will change a world that's lost it's way. May dreams that first found their birth in Your omnipotence, come alive in me, becoming reality.

-Make Me, Lord, A Dreamer, Chris Bowater

 When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.
Mark 8:34-38