Life

Just as flowers pressed between scribbled pages, picked on a day, a day of seeking, crying out and prayer serve as a reminder of a sweet moment, a baby's blessing on her mama,

So God's words, life's lessons, scars and growing times, recorded on the pages of our lives, our journals serve as a reminder. An alter of sorts, built to the Lord in times of realization, encounters with Him and growing seasons when He is so near, you can almost feel His heartbeat.

I look back at where I was last year and I can't believe how much has changed in our lives and in my heart(and I will try to make up for lost time soon!), but yet how far I have slipped back into old patterns. Sometimes, it's just new patterns, taking the place of the old. Not better, not worse, just not different and set apart. 

Wake up call! 

Plans. I had plans. Good plans I thought. A houseful of family members stricken with mono and and mono related imbalances is not what I had planned!

 God allows wake up calls in our lives from time to time. The rug seems to have been pulled out from under our feet. Blindly we were hit. Reeling from the fall for days, weeks sometimes months, grasping for even a hint as to why.

The cares of this world, the desires of this flesh tent of mine, are so strong. So strong indeed that I feel most times I must be able to peel it away, discard this painful skin, scratch off the tainted parts of me to live a life worthy. A life fulfilling, a life set apart.

 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:17-24

 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

Jesus. His pain. He endured it. He knows our pain. He knows some of the GREATEST pain ever. He even saw it coming. He held his cup. He drank of it. He sacrificed His flesh, His earthly desires, pleasures that enticed, for the purposes of God's kingdom. Oh, how my cup pales is comparison. 

Grace, is sufficient. His grace is sufficient for me. The sacrifice was sufficient. I have been washed in Jesus' grace atonement. His blood has covered over my sickly flesh and has said, you are clean. Pure. Set apart. Beautiful to me.

No more analyzing. No letting my mind get carried away into believing that anything this world has to offer is worth snubbing my Lord, His Holy Spirit's whispers.

Worry is a cancer. Regret a roadblock. Pride is paralyzing. Put on the new man. A new woman. That's me! Now, to live in that victory...

God's grace is sufficient for me. His blood has washed me clean. I walk by faith, believing that with every step I take, my eyes steadfastly fixed on Him, He will guide. He will sustain, he will bring light into those dark crevices of our lives that we feel are impenetrable. "In Him is no darkness at all". He CAN. He WILL. If I only open my heart fully. Daily. In every circumstance.

I walk by faith, because of grace, in patience, washing myself in His word, I find His blessing and seeds sowed, on those new tender mounds of my heart.

No more thorns of pleasure, or indulging in the thought of them, no more cares, worries for what tomorrow holds, no pride in possessing dust, no more words wasted, no more what ifs, just TODAY. Today is just one day, but each and every day I say I live today for You Lord, is another day those seeds are watered. Sprouting. In time a seedling. A prosperous plant. A budding branch. A most fruitful harvest. 

Time. Time is not my enemy. My mind is. Impatience is. "In time, Amy", He says to me. Have patience. My timing is best. Trust me. Walk in obedience. Just obey.

Humility. "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 1:6-7 

Cares, fears, worries. They weigh down. Burden. They threaten to uproot, the gardener's work. "Do not be afraid, I am your shield and reward!" The shield of faith. the sword of the Spirit. The whole armor of God at our bidding. We have only to obey. Put into practice. Faithfully, habitually using them to fight the enemies lies. Fear? I have MY FATHER standing over me, I am unbeatable. Unconquerable. Destined to fill a role in His kingdom. 

God is so good. He knows my name. He knows your name. You, His beloved, His child, his friend, you are intimately important to Him. May today be recorded in the eternal pages of "Amy's walk of faith" with the wilted, sad looking flowers of my heart and mind. That this day, I had an encounter with my Maker. This day He worked in, filled, encouraged my heart and then one day soon turned me right around said, "Go forth!"  and uses my broken vessel to work and speak into the rest of His body, His bride, His beloved. He who is faithful has promised. His promises are sure. His promises are never broken. 

This day, is the day to live in truth, for Him.